Written for The Lovability Movement: Original Post
Before I get started, take a few seconds to really think about this… What do you find most attractive in men? Come up with a short list in your head… Ok, got it? Awesome! Now, are any of these on your list? – Self-confidence, values, life goals and ambition, sense of humor, a nice body? Well I can honestly say that those same qualities are attractive in women!
So what do these traits have to do with loving yourself? And I’m not talking about loving yourself in a narcissistic way. Self-love is different than being self-centered and egotistical. Men find those qualities unattractive just as women do. But I’m talking about truly loving who you are and respecting yourself, despite your flaws and imperfections. If you think about it, all of the attractive characteristics listed above are signs of self-love. Yes… even having a nice body! Let me explain…
1. Self-confidence is key. It’s proof that you truly do love yourself. Again, I’m not talking about arrogance, but the charming characteristic that comes from being comfortable with yourself. If you walk into a room and compare yourself to the other woman in there, you’re just setting yourself up to feel insecure. There’s no need. The fact is, everyone has flaws, everyone! And everyone has strengths. I love a woman that knows what makes her awesome, focuses on those and holds her head up high.
2. Values are very important because they define how you lead your life. Learning the values of a potential significant other is a great way to determine if you’re compatible. But not all of your values have to be the same as mine. What I really love, is a woman that actually sticks to her values. That’s a true sign of self-love. I love a woman that isn’t afraid to say ‘no’. Doing something that you wouldn’t normally do just to impress a guy is never a good thing. Know yourself, know your values and stick to them! I have so much respect for a woman that respects herself.
3. Life goals outside of the relationship’s goals are a must. I love an ambitious woman that knows what she wants and works hard for it. Seeing her happy because her hard work paid off makes me happy. I’ve been in relationships before where I’ve felt like I was her only source of happiness. That’s an immense amount of pressure to put on someone… Finding happiness outside of the relationship is important. It’s a part of your life that you can call your own, yet still share with your significant other. Chances are, he’ll be happy to hear about all the great things you’ve accomplished, and will want to share his accomplishments with you.
4. A sense of humor often times shows humility, which is a sure sign that you love yourself. It tells me that you don’t take yourself too seriously, and that you’re not striving for an unattainable perfection. And a woman with a sense of humor is fun to be around. Life is about balance. So after catching up on each other’s amazing accomplishments, why not just be a little goofy and have some fun?
5. A nice body. Now before you call me shallow, hear me out. I’m not talking about Victoria’s Secret models here… (yes, they have nice bodies.) But I’m referring to women who take care of their bodies, and look healthy. Health and fitness is, without a doubt, a key component of loving yourself. I love a woman that takes pride in eating healthy, exercising and takes care of her physical self. And remember, life is about balance. So helping me scarf down the occasional pizza is pretty awesome, too!
As the saying goes, “how can you expect anyone to love you if you can’t love yourself?” Be confident. Express your true self and stick to your values. Work hard for your goals. Live, Laugh and Love (Yourself).
If you found this blog enjoyable or helpful, please share. And let me know what qualities you look for in a significant other!